So a few months ago a did this thing... I decided that I am as important as anyone else in my life. I have struggled with a verbally abusive and controlling marriage for years. Later on our therapist told me he was clinically narcissistic. I had no free time and chores had time limits. If... Continue Reading →

Oh, Baby!

Just when I think I am getting a handle on all the chaos that is my life, I had a few bombs dropped on me. Turning 40 years old didn't seem like a big deal to me, but since that happened my life keeps getting turned more upside down. The first surprise came shortly after... Continue Reading →

I’ll Be Missing You

Today I listened to the playlist of songs from your funeral. Then I played the song I decided was too hard to hear at your funeral. I wanted to laugh and cry at the same time. I can remember how frustrated mom would get that you played that song over and over again back then.... Continue Reading →

Security in a world of insecurity

In a world that is constantly pointing out your faults, it can be hard to hold on to the good qualities that are often overshadowed. Every time you get hurt in a relationship, when the ‘popular’ kids don’t hang out with you, when you keep hearing you aren’t good enough, it is easy to question... Continue Reading →

Survivor’s Reminder #1

I was thinking about a time in my life when I was in my teens and early twenties. It seems like that era of my life is a little foggy and I was oblivious to others' struggles. For years I have been ashamed of how self absorbed I was and a little confused as to... Continue Reading →

Guilty by jury of one…

This month would have been my brother's 33rd birthday. And next month will be one year since he died of a drug overdose. Planning his funeral was one of the hardest things I've ever had to do, and it affected me in a way I have been struggling to understand. Being back in my hometown... Continue Reading →

The Storm

One June night I woke up in the middle of sleeping with these words in my head. Not usually a writer, I felt a strong urge to write the words in my head. I had chills when I went back and read what I wrote. Four months later my brother died of a heroin overdose.... Continue Reading →

Heroin kills…

When my mom and dad divorced I was somewhere around 6. I had a sister two years younger than me and a baby brother 5 years younger than me. My earliest memories are of my parent's drunken arguments. One of the last they had before separating my mom was beating on the back door yelling... Continue Reading →

Oh, how stubborn I am…

Looking back, God tried to get my attention so many times. But I am a headstrong and stubborn person, and I try to fix everything myself - whether it's my problem or someone around me is struggling. About 15 years ago I had two little girls, neither in school yet. I had ended a rough... Continue Reading →


There is a stigma surrounding PTSD that I didn't realize for the longest time. This whole attitude that it is "mind over matter" or you just need to "give it to God" is way off base. Yes, I am a Christian. Yes, I believe in prayer, in God's healing, and in his awesome power. I... Continue Reading →

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